Fast forwarding through life.

I think today I am starting on a new path. I have never been this excited before.I don’t know the exact way things are going to happen from now on. I guess I never did. But still, this is new to me. From writing this much I am noticing one thing, that is, I am using so many ‘I’ in sentences.

Writing was never one of my strong suits. I remember, during my school days, I was so lazy to write something, that even if it was in an exam, I would try to answer with least words possible. I would write final answer so fast even if it wont get me full credit.Not only writing, even while eating I used to do it fast. I guess I never enjoyed those things. Like I was fast forwarding through life to get to the interesting part. It has been so many years and I am still doing it.

I don’t know how but for the past few days I have been getting interested in reading more books. Like somehow books are going to be my salvation. And I started wanting to write also. I don’t know how. I remember praying or rather repeating the prayer of Nikos Kazantzakis that ” whatever You want me to be, please make me that”. You can see, I was desperate. I have quit my job 2 years ago and was looking for a job since. I had the idea that I could make it in Engineering by working hard. But whenever I tried to work on it I was getting easily distracted. I don’t know if it was just me being too lazy or maybe I was not up to it. But I kind of felt like I don’t fit in. So for the last few days I have been trying to find alternate ways to get a job so that my parents wont be disappointed too much. On that pursuit I found many on-line sites, most of which are scams, and signed up with different sites with the hope of getting a job. But still I was not satisfied with any of it. I was on the verge of loosing hope and giving up, so I decided that,”if I don’t find my way in life by tomorrow, I will join some job I am not interested in and make a living out of it”. I was asking for signs from the universe (like universe has nothing else to do). I was not able to sleep properly that night. Next day morning I was kind of disappointed that universe did not show me the way (Again with the universe? Maybe I should stop watching too much movies). So while searching the web I came across a site, a travel blog by Shivya Nath. It was not the first time that I was coming across a site this, but this time it seemed to resonate with me. I kind of felt like this is Universe reaching out for me. So I kept on reading through her site and it kind of inspired me to do this (So if you have any complaints you should blame her).


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