I had previously told that I was fast forwarding through life to reach the good part. I have still not stopped doing that. I have done it for most part of my life that it has become involuntary now.
The excitement I had previously is gone now. I always felt like that I can not sustain any emotions. Just like, when you watch a great movie, you will be in the zone for some time. But after some time the effect wears off. It is like that for me with emotions. I can not hold hate towards a person for too much time. Even love. It is like I have short term emotional memory loss. When a task is taken up under the influence of emotions or inspirations, the task becomes easier. But due to my condition I find most of the tasks difficult most of the time. May be the tasks are difficult because when the going gets easy, the experience get magnified so that purpose of life can be fulfilled.
Last time when I started writing it was like a flow I can not control, now its shortage.
“Whatever You want me to be please make me that.”
I like this prayer because it takes the burden off our shoulder. Burden, that is how I saw the life most of the time. It is very easy to dream. May be that is why I dream too much. Does not cost anything. My kind of entertainment. Cheap and easily available.
Whenever we enquire about how to get our life more involved we come across the word “comfort zone”. For me the comfort zone is being a couch potato. Even though I realized that it does not take you to a better place I still cling to it. I am too afraid to get out of my comfort zone.